One of my favorite sitcoms of all time is Seinfeld. I don't think I'm breaking any news by saying it's one of the best-written and funniest shows of all time, so I'll just assume you know about Seinfeld already and save the lengthy introduction that likely wouldn't do the show justice.
Seinfeld is also one of my favorite shows to put on for background noise. Every night when we get ready for bed, my wife and I will put on an old sitcom from the DVR or some streaming service to fall asleep to. Nine times out of ten, if I'm the one with the remote, it'll be an episode of Seinfeld.
I've previously written about my Top Ten favorite episodes, so please check it out if you missed Part One and Part Two.
It's also a habit of mine that when I'm away at work, seconds after getting to the hotel on my layover, I turn on the television for background noise to drown out the sounds of a hotel. The first thing I look for is always Seinfeld. Not to even watch, but to just have on. It's comfort food for the television.
I was at work recently and got to the hotel late at night, which is unusual for me. I like to work early in the morning, but in this instance, I was finishing my work day well after midnight. I turned on old faithful and got ready for bed. As one episode ended and the next began, I had a thought:
Jerry's girlfriends very rarely lasted more than one episode, let alone the entire episode. How many different ones did Jerry have anyway?
So, I thought it might be fun to see if I can look back through the series to document how many girlfriends appeared on the show.
I don't really have a ranking system, nor are they in any type of order. Below is a list I've collected that includes their names, the actress, the episode in which they appeared, and a brief bio.
It's definitely possible I missed one or two... so if I did, leave it in a comment down below! Which was your favorite? Your least favorite? Which one did you think should have been on more? Let me know!
1. Sidra Holland (Teri Hatcher) - "The Implant" - "They're real, and they're spectacular!"
2. Melissa (Kathleen McClellan) - "The Apology" - She's too comfortable being naked in Jerry's apartment during nonsexual situations.
3. Ellen (Christine Taylor) - "The Van Buren Boys" - Jerry thinks she's perfect but realizes she doesn't have friends and worries she's a loser.
4. Jenna (Kristin Davis) - "The Pothole" - Jerry accidentally knocks her toothbrush in the toilet, and she uses it unknowingly, much to Jerry's disgust.
5. Lanette (Amanda Peet) - "The Summer of George" - Jerry intends to take her to the Tony Awards but notices a "dude" living in her apartment. Jerry convinces her to drop "the dude," but he was the buffer between Jerry and her hectic lifestyle. To keep up, Jerry hires George as his "dating assistant."
6. Tia Van Camp (Jennifer Campbell) - "The Airport" and "The Pick" - A fashion model that Jerry meets in first class on his flight home, she breaks up with him in the next episode when she sees Jerry "pick" his nose at a stop light.
7. Meryl (Courtney Cox)- "The Wife" - She calls herself Jerry's wife to use his discount at the dry cleaners. Jerry likes it at first, but it causes problems with his family when they find out. Jerry "cheats" and lets another woman use his discount, and he and Meryl break up when she finds out.
8. Patty (Lori Loughlin) - "The Serenity Now" - She tells Jerry he bottles up his anger too much, and once Jerry lets loose his rage, she thinks he's a jerk and breaks up with him.
9. Hallie (Samantha Smith) - "The Friar's Club" - George sets Jerry up with Susan's best friend, so they can secretly spend more time together now that he's about to get married. She sees Jerry steal a jacket off someone's back, thinking that it was his stolen Friar's Club jacket, and breaks up with him.
10. Nikki (Dylan Tays) - "The Calzone" - Jerry takes advantage of her beauty to get anything he wants, including getting out of parking tickets. Eventually, she leaves Jerry for Todd Gack, who dates her without really asking her out.
11. Beth Lukner (Debra Messing) - "The Wait Out" and "The Yada Yada" - In her first appearance, Jerry and Elaine are waiting out her marriage with David. In her second episode, a year later, she's divorced her husband and Jerry takes her as his date to Mickey's wedding. There, she makes an anti-Semitic and racist joke. Worst of all, she's an anti-dentite!
12. Dolores (Susan Walters) - "The Junior Mint" - Jerry never learned her name, but now it's too late to ask. Trying to get her to tell him without asking, he finds it "rhymes with a female body part." George comes up with a list of names: Bovary, Loleola, Celeste, Hest, Kest, Gipple, and of course, Mulva.
13. Bridgette (Berta Waagfjord) - "The Diplomat's Club" - Jerry makes plans to meet her at the first class lounge at La Guardia Airport as the two will be passing through at the same time. After several mishaps, the two meet just minutes before her flight departs, but "the pilot" appears in the window and unnerves Jerry.
14. Becky Gelke (Helen Slater) - "The Good Samaritan" - A long-time crush of Jerry's, she lives across the street, but he only knows her as "the blue sweatpants girl." Jerry's dating another girl who, while driving, hits Becky's parked car. Jerry goes to her apartment to apologize and pay for the damages, but Becky believes Jerry was the one who hit her car and slams the door in his face.
15. Laura (Marlee Matlin) - "The Lip Reader" - A pro tennis lineswoman Jerry brings to parties to read other people's lips.
16. Rachel Goldstein (Melanie Smith) - "The Raincoats Parts 1 and 2," "The Hamptons," and The Opposite" - Rachel is Jerry's longest relationship during the series, spanning 4 episodes. In the two-part episode "The Raincoats," Newman catches her and Jerry making out during Schindler's List. In "The Hamptons," Rachel walks in on George and discovers his... shrinkage. In "The Opposite," she breaks up with Jerry, but he doesn't care because things always even out for him.
17. Jane (Jami Gertz) - "The Stall" - With her distinct voice, Kramer recognizes her as "Erica," the phone sex operator. She breaks up with Jerry after discovering he's friends with the woman who stole all the toilet paper from the bathroom, leaving her "without a square to spare."
18. Sophie (Lisa Ambuchi) - "The Burning" - She uses the "it's me" greeting with Jerry, but he doesn't recognize her voice. When he tries it on her, she thinks it is some friend named "Raph" and tells him she is nervous to tell Jerry about "the tractor story."
19. Sharon (Paula Marshall) - "The Outing" - Sharon is an NYU student at Monk's waiting to interview Jerry for the school's paper. When Elaine notices Sharon is eavesdropping, Jerry and George pretend to be a gay couple to prank her. When Jerry discovers who she really is, he and George desperately try to prove they aren't gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
20. Sue Ellen Mischke (Brenda Strong) - "The Caddy" - Appearing in several episodes, Jerry only gets involved with her briefly in "The Caddy." Sue Ellen is Elaine's nemesis and the "bra-less O'Henry Candy Bar Heiress."
21. Marla Penny (Jane Leeves) - "The Virgin" and "The Contest" - Marla is hired to help Jerry expand and organize his closets. When they start dating, he finds that she's still a virgin. In "The Contest," Jerry tells her what they are "competing" for, and she dumps him, completely horrified at the thought. After breaking up with Jerry, she finds herself in bed with JFK, Jr.
22. Valerie (Lauren Graham) - "The Millennium" - Jerry ends up in a power struggle between Valerie and her stepmother for the more dominant speed dial position.
23. Jeanie Steinman (Janeane Garofalo) - "The Invitations" and "The Foundation" - Jeanie saves Jerry's life by pulling him back onto the sidewalk as a car passes too close. The two fall in love and get engaged but have a perfectly amicable breakup in "The Foundation."
24. Amy (Anna Gunn) - "The Glasses" - After George loses his glasses, he's positive that he saw Anna making out with Jerry's cousin Jeffrey. He was squinting, after all. She breaks up with him when Jerry reveals his jealous side. Only it was too late that Jerry learned that what George really saw was a policeman and his horse.
25. Sergeant Cathy Tierny (Katherine Lanasa) - "The Beard" - On a date, she asks Jerry about Melrose Place. He denies ever watching the show, and she doesn't believe him. She forces him into a lie detector test, where he confesses he's a massive fan of the show.
27. Sheila (Alexandra Wentworth) - "The Soup Nazi" - Jerry and Sheila are a little too comfortable with public displays of affection. They often argue over which one is called "schmoopy." Jerry chooses the soup over her when the Soup Nazi gets angry about their kissing in his store.
28. Jodi (Jennifer Coolidge) - "The Masseuse" - Jerry is upset he's dating a massage therapist, but she never gives him a rub down. Kramer, on the other hand, gets a very relaxing massage. Jodi also utterly despises George, and the rejection causes him to have wild, obsessive feelings about her.
29. Nina West (Catherine Keener) - "The Letter" - Nina is an artist who uses Kramer as the subject of one of her paintings. When her father gets Jerry and his friends great seats at a Yankees game, Jerry and Nina break up after Elaine gets them tossed out for refusing to remove her Baltimore Orioles hat. Later, Nina sends Jerry a romantic letter to make up, but Jerry discovers that her letter was just a few stolen lines from a Neil Simon play.
30. Lois (Renee Props ) - "The Race" - Jerry likes dating Lois because he pretends she's Lois Lane and he's Superman. She watches as Jerry has a foot race with her boss and his old high school rival, Duncan Meyer.
31. Alex (Melinda Clarke) - "The Muffin Tops" - Jerry shaves off his chest hair and discovers his girlfriend prefers hairless men. As his chest hair grows back, it begins to itch, so Jerry is forced to scratch it behind her back so she'll continue to think he's naturally airless.
32. Gillian (Kristin Bauer) - "The Bizarro Jerry" - She has MAN HANDS!
33. Lena (Jennifer Guthrie) - "The Sponge" - Jerry gets a woman's unlisted number off an AIDS Walk sign-up sheet. When George needs something to talk to Susan about, he tells her where Jerry got the number. The news eventually gets back to Lena, who breaks up with Jerry over it.
34. Vanessa (Lynn Clark) - "The Stakeout" and "The Stock Tip" - The girl from Sagman, Bennet, Robins, Oppenheim, & Taft whom Jerry falls for. Despite being in only two episodes, it's assumed she's his girlfriend through most of Season One. In "The Stock Tip," the two travel to Vermont for the weekend but get stuck inside the Bed & Breakfast because of rain. Boredom makes the two argue, and they break up when they return to New York.
35. Winona (Kimberly Guerrero) - "The Cigar Store Indian" - Elaine's Native American friend who finds Jerry charming and attractive until a series of misunderstandings makes her think he's racist.
36. Claire (Sarah Peterson) - "The Voice" - Jerry pretends her belly button talks in a funny voice. "HELLLLOOO! LA, LA, LA!" She later has a giant rubber ball of oil dropped on her head by Kramer at George's PlayNow offices.
37. Nina (Justine Micelli) - "The Betrayal" - Jerry and Nina dated in the past but never slept together because they had such interesting conversations. George gets Jerry's permission to date her and brings her to India for Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding. Just before the trip, though, Jerry and Nina have a slight pause in their conversation and end up in bed. Elaine knows, and George suspects something. George then ruins the wedding by getting Elaine drunk enough to tell him the truth.
38. Pam (Kim Myers) - "The Soul Mate" - Pam is dating Jerry, but he's not too into the relationship. When Kramer falls head over heels for her, Jerry decides he is "gaga" over her. Jerry and Kramer both decide to get vasectomies to impress her, but Jerry backs out at the last minute, leaving Kramer to complete his operation.
39. Cindy (Angela Featherstone) - "The Maid" - Cindy is Jerry's housekeeper, but when the two begin sleeping together, she stops cleaning his apartment when she's there. She still expects to get paid, and when Jerry refuses, she sends her "boss" over to intimidate him.
40. Cheryl (Maggie Han) - "The Visa" - Cheryl starts off as George's girlfriend, but she falls for Jerry during a double date. George had asked Jerry to not upstage him by being funny, so Jerry pretended to be very "subdued, dark, and somber." She also was the lawyer for her cousin Ping, who Elaine ran over with a car.
41. Naomi (Jessica Lundy) - "The Bubble Boy" - She breaks up with Jerry after George leaves a message on his machine describing her annoying laugh as "Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer." Later in the episode, Naomi agrees to accompany Kramer to Susan's parent's cabin.
42. Margaret (Marita Geraghty) - "The Big Salad" - Jerry is very attracted to Margaret but can't get over the fact that she used to date Newman. When Newman says, "She wasn't my type," Jerry decides he can't be with someone who Newman decides is unacceptable.
43. Donna Chang (Angela Dohrmann) -"The Chinese Woman" - She accidentally connects with Jerry when her phone line is crossed with George's one evening. Jerry sets up a meeting but is disappointed it doesn't turn out to be his first interracial date. Despite taking on several Chinese stereotypes and shortening her name from Changstein to Chang, she's just a "regular woman."
44. Gina (Gina Gallego) - "The Suicide" - She and Jerry made out over her boyfriend's comatose body.
45. Audrey (Suzanne Snyder) - "The Pie" - Audrey refuses to have a bite of Jerry's apple pie at Monk's but won't give him a reason. She takes Jerry to her father's restaurant, where Poppie, her father, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. When Jerry refuses to eat the food, she breaks up with him. This actress also appeared as Eva, the Nazi, in the episode "The Limo."
46. Katya (Elina Lowensohn) - "The Romanian Gymnast" - Jerry is intrigued to find out how flexible Katya is. Unfortunately for him, she isn't interested in casual hookups, so he pretends to desire a deeper relationship to lower her inhibitions.
47. Sandra (Lisa Malkiewicz) - "The Cheever Letters" - She's Elaine's secretary and is introduced to Jerry, who asks Jerry for some dirty talk during a night of passion. The best he could come up with when talking about her underwear was, "You mean the panties that your mother laid out for you?" Of course, Elaine finds out and uses it to embarrass Jerry.
48. Laura (Pamela Brull) "The Seinfeld Chronicles" - The first ever "girlfriend." During the series' pilot episode, she flies in from Chicago and stays at Jerry's apartment. After taking her on a long date and to an expensive dinner, she reveals she has a fiance when they return to the apartment.
49. Donna (Gretchen German) - "The Phone Messenger" - After a really nice date, the two end up at Jerry's apartment, watching TV. A "Cotton Dockers" commercial comes on that Donna likes, but Jerry hates it. He questions if he could be with someone who enjoys such a commercial, and the two break up.
50. Angela (Melinda McCaw) - "The Good Samaritan" - Angela was driving erratically and hit Becky Gelke's car. She threatened to kill Jerry if he ever called the police on her for leaving the scene of an accident.
51. Gail Cunningham (Anita Barone) "The Shoes" - Gail once dated Kramer, but he later snubbed her. She was the chef at a restaurant where Elaine sneezed on a plate of food served to Russell Dalrymple, the head of NBC, where Jerry and George were attempting to get their sitcom signed.
52. Sandy (Jann Karam) - "The Switch" - Sandy is a "non-laugher," but her roommate is stunning AND laughs at Jerry's jokes. In order to "make the switch" between women, George suggests he propose a menage a trois. Rather than disgust his current girlfriend and interest the roommate as intended, allowing for the switch... "they're into it!"
53. Laura (Heather Medway) - "The Switch" - She's the roommate that's "into it."
54. Shelly (Dana Wheeler-Nicholson) "The Doodle" - When Newman gives Jerry fleas, his apartment is fumigated. So, he stays at his girlfriend Shelly's apartment for the night, but Jerry's apartment is being fumigated, and he forgets to bring his toothbrush. She offers hers, but he can't bring himself to use it, and she throws him out for it.
55. Gennice (Adelaide Miller) - "The Understudy" - Gennice is the understudy for Bette Middler and bursts into tears for absurd reasons, such as dropping her hotdog in the park. However, she doesn't cry after hearing about her Grandmother's death.
56. Sandi (Elena Wohl) "The Pilot" - Sandi was hired to play Elaine on the sitcom written by Jerry and George. She is convinced that she is really Elaine and that she and Jerry are dating.
57. Melanie (Athena Massey) - "The Engagement" - Jerry breaks up with her because she eats her peas one at a time.
58. Holly (Stacy Travis) - "The Wink" - Holly is Elaine's cousin who forces Jerry to eat meat. Jerry uses Grandma Memma's napkins to spit out and hide the meat. Holly assumes Elaine stole the napkins out of spite, and when she discovers it was Jerry because he didn't like her mutton, she breaks up with him.
59. Abby (A.J. Langer) - "The Fatigues" - Jerry breaks up with Abby after realizing Banya is her mentor.
60. Celia (Julia Pennington) -"The Merv Griffin Show" - Jerry drugs her so that he can play with her extensive never-before-used toy collection. Jerry starts bringing George and Elaine to play with the toys while she's drugged from heavy foods, and Kramer spills the beans on his "talk show."
61. Dr. Sara Sitarides (Marcia Cross) - "The Slicer" - After claiming she is a life-saving doctor, Jerry calls her "Pimple Popper, M.D."
62. Gwen (Karen Fineman) -"The Strike"- She's a "two-face" who only looks good in certain light.
63. Lisi (Julia Campbell) -"The Frogger" - She finishes Jerry's sentences, but incorrectly. When Jerry goes to break up with her, the breakup lasts 10 hours, and when he realizes it's gotten dark outside, he's afraid to walk home because of "The Lopper." To stay indoors, he reunites with her and has to go on a trip to the Pennsylvania Dutch Country.
64. Karen Ann Hanson (Marguerite MacIntyre) - "The Chaperone" - Jerry meets this Miss Rhode Island at a Yankees game. When Jerry goes to Atlantic City to watch her perform in the Miss America pageant, he accidentally kills the doves used in her act. Kramer suggests she sing, but she can't carry a tune.
65. Christie (Lisa Deanne Young) "The Seven" - Jerry is obsessed when he realizes she always wears the same black and white dress, even in old photos. She catches him searching her closet, trying to find different attire, and tosses him out.
66. Keith Hernandez - "The Boyfriend" - Ok, this is a bit of a joke, but Jerry did primp and preen himself for their "outing." Keith is a fan of Jerry's comedy, and Jerry is obviously a big fan of the former New York Met. The two make plans to get dinner, and Jerry is beside himself, finding the proper outfit and figuring out what to say. Unfortunately, Keith ruins Jerry's night when he tells him he's interested in Elaine.
And last but not least -
67. Elaine! (Julia Louis Dreyfus) - While it was never fleshed out how much or when they dated, it's stated that Elaine and Jerry were one-time semi-serious dating but remained friends following their breakup. Throughout the early part of the series, they'd briefly get back together again, such as in "The Deal," where they created rules to become more than just friends again. But from there on out, that was pretty much it between the two, as they would continue dating other people throughout the rest of the series and remaining very close friends.
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